The search for life’s meaning
If you’re a logical and rational person, you may not have given much thought to your connection with your soul. It can sound a bit new age and spiritual, and may be off-putting to those who prefer science and thoughts. But it’s entirely possible to maintain your logical head while connecting deeply with your soul.
Before I started training as a counsellor, I hadn’t really given much thought to the label of ‘soul’, even though I was tapping into mine. I held (and still hold) a belief that there is no such thing as a universal meaning of life, and everyone has to discover their own purpose. Your soul can be thought of as what connects with and gives you access to this. If you dismiss your soul or fail to connect with it then you may find it difficult to work out your meaning of life.
It’s no secret that life involves great suffering. Your meaning and purpose gives you something — or perhaps many things — that make enduring your suffering worthwhile and give you the will to live.
Man’s Search for Meaning covers life in concentration camps during the Holocaust, written from first hand experience by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. Few have suffered more than those subjected to such barbaric treatment and conditions, yet those who survived (and many who died) still found purpose in their existence. I was stunned to find my thoughts reflected the words Frankl first published in 1946, despite everything he had been through. He wrote: “We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly.” He in turn cites Friedrich Nietzsche: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
There is no ultimate, universal meaning to all lives. Some people may find this depressing or existentially unsettling. I find it liberating and inspiring. The meaning of your life can change many times over as your relationships and interests evolve, and there is no right or wrong meaning for you to hold. It is yours and yours alone, and does not require justification to — or approval from — anyone else. So long as you recognise your meaning and purpose, you can endure your suffering.
The connections model provides an overarching framework for working as an integrative counsellor. It conceives of people as being made up of mind, body, emotions and soul and works on the idea that all these parts need to be properly connected to ensure wellbeing. If one or more are disconnected then the individual will experience difficulties with their emotional or mental health and may benefit from working with a therapist. If the therapist is working with the connections model, it guides them to help clients address issues with their soul via transpersonal theories to help them reconnect with it and their meaning.
Meaning can be found in almost anything, from music and the arts to sport and hobbies; family and friends; your job or voluntary work. Viktor Frankl helped his patients discover meaning and purpose in their lives by asking them what stopped them killing themselves. For some it was their child; for others it was a project which needed working on; or even a simple memory they clung to tightly. If you are in a positive place at the moment, free of depression and despair, then you may quickly be able to come up with a large list.
If you’re finding this all a bit deep or you don’t know where to start, Henry Rollins wrote a beautiful, now famous piece about the relationship between his soul and the simple act of lifting weights in the gym. It is possible to gain the meaning or purpose needed to live your life from just about anywhere if your soul is open to connection.
